Sometimes with my gay and lesbian clients who come in as individuals, there is some relationship in their life that is a struggle for them, and they’re hoping to be able to do something different to help that relationship get better, and in-turn they are hoping to feel better.  So, the questions is, just what can they do when a relationship with someone they care for is struggling, and the other person just won’t do anything differently to help? 

They can take the wheel.

How, you ask? 

Well, one way might be to answer a question…and by now, you know me and lists, so they answer it with a list, maybe 15, 25, 50 whatever we have time for.

The question they answer is this: 

If tomorrow, you were at your ABSOLUTE best, all day long, and you spent some time talking with this person, remaining at your best throughout the conversation or interaction, what would they notice about you, that might give them the idea that you were at your best? What else? What else? Get the idea??

So, what they do with that list is up to them, but just making it might make it more likely that they are closer to their best the next time they talk to that person they’re struggling with…and then, I always wonder, how might that other person respond differently to them, at this best of theirs? Guess they’d just have to notice…


Drive safe,


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