When an individual or couple that I’m seeing is feeling stuck, and like they just can’t get moving forward again, one of the ways I try and help them get un-stuck, is by asking them to go back a bit, and remember.
I ask about the last time they felt better about things, and once they have that memory, I have them describe that time to me in GREAT detail. I do this a lot, and I do it for a damn good reason. I believe that remembering when things were going better, and really digging for what was happening in those times, will inevitably lead to some things that they might be able to do more of now, to get closer to where they want to go.
So, for example, if a couple comes into my office in a terrible mood, but through some of my questions they can remember that last month, for about two or so days they were getting along and doing really well. Then, through more of my questions they recall what they accidentally did, and what their partner accidentally did throughout that time to contribute to the greatness of those days, such that they can think of, and say, several things that they were doing to turn a good day into 2 great days, then maybe….just maybe…they can purposely re-do some of those things THIS week, and it will get them snowballing in the right direction again. Just having the conversation, is bound to make that day a bit better, anyway…yeah?
Happy reminiscing,
Rebekka
