So, here is the last tip for the LGBT community, regarding the upcoming holidays. If you’ve followed the previous 3 tips, then you’ve now got an idea of how you would like things to be, you’ve recognized what’s going well and how you will notice things getting better, and you’ve communicated your hopes to family members whom you trust.

Now, if you’re still finding some difficulty my last piece of advice around the holidays is this:

4. If you are forced into a tough decision, make it consciously and openly:

Sometimes for very valid reasons, you are just going to have to make a tough choice.  The choice might be whether to spend the holidays with your family of origin or your spouse/chosen family.  It might be whether to bring your spouse to the holidays as your ‘roommate’ or as your significant other. Or maybe whether to play it straight, or finally come out.

So, my advice here is simple: If you do end up in a situation where you are forced to make a tough choice, make it consciously, and then be honest with yourself about it.

Take the pressure off of yourself by recognizing that it doesn’t always have to be the same every year, and remember to talk with your spouse about it, and if possible, also talk with your family.

As always, feel free to comment here or email me at the address below.

Rebekka Ouer, LCSW


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