The Blog

For next time

Think for a minute about the last time you got into a heated argument with someone you care about. Now answer this 2 part question:If you now, knowing what you know about how that day and event unfolded, were to find yourself and your loved one heading in that exact...

read more

The small things…

Sometimes, if you want BIG change, the best way to get it is to start very very small. I had a client who came to me saying that he wanted a whole life shift; he wanted a new home, new friends, a boyfriend to love him, and a newer better paying job. He even thought...

read more

Shifting Your Focus

I talk a lot with gay and lesbian couples about their ‘destination’, and every now and then one will point out that the legal destination isn’t the same here in Texas as it is elsewhere, and how incredibly upsetting that fact is for them. For some, it’s the one...

read more

The Pendulum

I often use scales in my sessions with clients. Both as a way to identify current placement compared to one's 'preferred future' and as a measure of progress. With the scales that I use, 10 is always the 'destination' as laid out by my client, it's the place that we...

read more

Your Amazing

One of my clients recently sat down on my couch and grabbed one of the pillows I have there, and said..."man..if these pillows could talk, huh?" And I said..."yeah...they would go on and on about all of the amazing people they get to come into contact with everyday, I...

read more

When the next step is a big one…

Sometimes, in the process of self-discovery, folks in the LGBT community make realizations about their lives that require some painful honesty with the people that they love most. I frequently have conversations in my counseling office with individuals who are...

read more

In the moment

Recently, my girlfriend and I have had a lot of fun together, and I made a conscience effort to recognize it, talk about it with her, and answer a few questions around it, in hopes that we can recreate it in the tougher times we're certain to encounter moving forward....

read more

Define Yourself

Harvey Fierstein once said: "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." I think one of the advantages of being in the LGBT community, is that we are uniquely forced to define...

read more

Remember when…

When an individual or couple that I'm seeing is feeling stuck, and like they just can't get moving forward again, one of the ways I try and help them get un-stuck, is by asking them to go back a bit, and remember. I ask about the last time they felt better about...

read more

Taking the Wheel…

Sometimes with my gay and lesbian clients who come in as individuals, there is some relationship in their life that is a struggle for them, and they're hoping to be able to do something different to help that relationship get better, and in-turn they are hoping to...

read more

About Me

I am a solution-focused therapist and author of the book, Solution Focused Brief Therapy with the LGBT Community: Creating Futures through Hope and Resilience from Routledge Publications.

Learn More About Me

Let's Connect

Pin It on Pinterest