With the gay and lesbian couples I see, some weeks it seems like I hear a LOT about things not being ‘good enough’, even though there is REMARKABLE progress to report. It’s a kind of glass-half-empty sentiment that is very natural for a lot of people…just seeing the lack of perfection as evidence that you’ll never be where you want to be.
I had a couple in my office last week, who have experienced almost two straight weeks of ‘better’, (& I mean MUCH better) but said that they are incredibly frustrated by the fight they had during that time, because they ‘shouldn’t’ be fighting at all, and ‘what does that say about us that we can do so well but still have stupid fights’?
Well…I think that it says that you are human.
I’m curious about what it says about you that you’ve had 2 great weeks in a row where you were able to feed your relationship in a way that was right for you, avoid fights, be as intimate as you’ve wanted, and get along as well as you have since you first got together?
That says to me that you’re working INCREDIBLY hard to be your best & improve your relationship, and it seems to be paying off…big time.
Give yourself credit for the good stuff…notice it, talk about it, focus on it and forgive yourself for falling back a bit on a rough day in a rough moment.
Then, simply repeat.
Yeah, you’re getting the idea now…